Today is Noah's first day of third grade and Audrey's first day of Kindergarten!
I'm not gonna lie--this one was tough.
When I finished my second year teaching in 2008 and Chris and I decided I would stay home to raise our children, I didn't really think much about this day. I was focused on babies and nursing and toddlers and potty training and zoo trips and nap schedules and car seats and pre-school. Noah went to school in the blink of an eye and that was rough, but I had a sweet two-year-old with me to keep me busy and fulfilled.
The last few days I've felt some regret and guilt. I didn't take advantage of all the library toddler programs with Audrey. I didn't sit down and play Barbies with her every day, or spend hours teaching her letters and numbers so she'd have a leg up in Kindergarten. People told me the time would fly by, but I didn't really listen to them and cherish these short years, did I?
Last night I asked Chris (okay, somewhat tearfully) if it is too late to hold her back and start Kindergarten next year, when I'M ready for it. He laughed and said no, she's ready. She'll do great. But that's the issue--I know Noah and Audrey will flourish at school, and learn, and adapt, and develop their characters. That's not what I'm worried about--it's about ME and the knowledge that there's no going back to this sweet time at home with my babies.
So here I am, thinking about them WAY more than they're thinking about me, bracing myself for some big changes in my life. Much will remain the same--paying the bills, keeping house, groceries and cooking, teaching Bible classes, etc. Some new opportunities are presenting themselves, such as photography in a professional capacity. I'm also planning to extend my time more toward serving others. I can be more involved at school (not working around naps) and I can give more time and energy to church work and visiting and volunteering.
I'll shed a few tears, but then I'll bravely move forward into a new chapter of my life, nurturing and training my children in new ways, helping them find their wings while I broaden my purpose in this challenging role called motherhood. I'm counting so many blessings: healthy children, a husband who encourages me to be home for my kids, every material blessing I could ever need, wonderful and helpful extended family near and far, a church with plenty of opportunities to be involved, and so much more.
And it doesn't hurt that sweet friends are checking in, sending me pictures of Audrey at lunch, and asking me to come help in her class at the end of the day. Baby steps, right? ;)
1 comment:
I feel you. I did so much with the older two, that I feel so regretful about Cooper going into kinder. We didn't get to do as much with him because of the triplets. I still feel regret for the older ones in what sacrifices we've made because of the triplets. You can come borrow a triplet any time if you're bored!
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